Text-messaging with an attractive, witty, or just down-right unique woman you just met sounds like an awesome idea, and it can be really fun! On the flip-side, it’s important that you take into consideration some unspoken “rules” and social etiquette, so read on to learn how to up your game.
Sending 1, 2 many
It’s easy to get excited after meeting a new woman that you like – or think you like. Unfortunately, in the heat of the moment a man, by nature, can get a bit overly excited, worrisome about ones confidence, or even try “too hard” to maintain a woman’s attention.
When texting back and forth with a girl, try to find an equilibrium. For example, if she sends one text full of 3 sentences, then return the same amount and comparable quantity. No, this doesn’t mean sending it within 26 seconds of receiving her message. This brings us to our next point.
Rapid Response; Rapid Denial
We’ve all been there, or know someone that’s been there. Replying too quickly, especially without thought, can really make or break any sort of connection you might have with a woman you just met.
Make an honest effort to wait a minimum of 10-15 minutes to reply, and don’t be afraid to let an hour or two go by.
Most importantly, if you have responsibilities to tend to like work and school, don’t be afraid to put the phone down for your shift and get back to her later. While it’s not necessary to “report” to your new fling or girl of interest your daily task-list, it’s nice to drop her a note iterating that you were thinking of her, but occupied with work and studies.
Through this “strategy”, you will put yourself in an advantageous position whereas now you’re indicating to her that this is “her time” or that you perhaps have a few minutes now to chat, and ideally, make plans to meet up and go out on a date sometime in the near future.
Stop Talking to Yourself
Meeting a new (especially attractive) woman that you have things in common with can really get the blood-flowin’. But with that being said, try to make sure of two things:
- That you keep the blood flowing in the right places so you can have intelligent, interesting conversations with the woman in question – and as a bonus move, actually spark her interest!
- If your new friend isn’t writing back right away, or at all, don’t panic. Sending repeated messages over and over again, or desperately trying to get her attention with messages like “are you still there?!” can come off as overbearing, and quite frankly a little weird. This is NOT the way to get a woman to like you, let alone want to meet up with you.
Learn how to light the Spark and Keep the Fire
Sparking a woman’s interest is one thing, but keeping her interest is an entirely different animal. It’s easy sometimes for us to portray ourselves differently, too seriously, or even unintentionally carry over our work or school writing-form and habits to social, informal messages and situations – i.e. with the hot girl you just met at the club last night that loves the Pittsburgh Stealers too.
Keep your conversations interesting, don’t be afraid to initiate the conversation, but also don’t be afraid to let her bring up a topic or ask a question once and a while too.
Most importantly, be decisive. It’s been scientifically proven that women love a man who knows what he wants. Just respect the difference between texting “Let’s go grab some Chinese food tonight” and “I’m in my bed. You should come over”.
It’s okay to ask and learn about what a woman likes and wants, but don’t forget that if she’s interested in you – which she likely is if she’s replying – that she wants to get to learn a little bit about you too.
Keep it light, don’t be too serious all the time, and if you don’t learn anything at all from this article: do not ask redundant, unoriginal questions like: “Whatre you doing” or “Whats up”. These questions lack originality, and those “Good morning” or “Good night” daily texts you’re sending to the chick you like is probably getting a little less sweet, and a little more creepy each time.
If that sort of little “routine” is the current climax or maximum progress you’ve made to-date with your texts between one another, then it’s likely some interest or chemistry is lacking – but don’t take it personally, it’s not always meant to be.
Meeting up and Bonding
First off, it’s important you remember a girl’s name – this shouldn’t have to be said, but it seems to be a common mistake or error we as men make at times, blame it on the juice, patron, whatever you want, just don’t do it or let it happen – it’s a deal breaker. If you already forgot her name when standing in front of her asking for her number, you can try the “how do you spell your name?” strategy, but we’re not making any promises on that one – as it’s been used up quite a bit over the years.
So anyway, when you send texts to the woman you’re interested in and address her by her name, it adds a personal, desirable touch and lets her know that you both remember who she is, and that you’re also thinking about her – in a non-creepy way.
While being too aggressive might scare most women away, it’s not always the case, so advice from here can go either direction.
Some guys have experienced and recommended waiting between 1-3 days after meeting to try to schedule a date, and others say a week or under.
Here’s something potentially more accurate, practical, and psychologically grounded that should answer this “mystery” of women and date-invites – via text.
Ultimately, we think it’s safe to say that it’ll really boil down to how much the two of you have “bonded” since meeting and texting on the phone, how much the two of you are actually still interested in one another, the nature of your conversations – beyond generic, and whether or not you or her, actually want to meet up.
Sometimes, in our drunken stupor or just night out bar-hopping we meet someone we think we like or know, and then over the course of the following (sober) days of texting suddenly one isn’t so fond of the other anymore, finds out ones maybe married, has 16 cats, or a really rough one, that she’s lesbian and only wanted you as a male-friend.
We’re not saying there’s anything at all wrong with lesbians, but rather that it’s important to take into consideration the effects of alcohol or whatever else you consume before, during, and after the club or bars and the people you meet along the way – as alcohol tends to make us miss things that would usually be obvious, or forget things that are considerably important. Sometimes, things and people just aren’t quite what you think you see, or felt you had for them – you know, those “love at first sight” women you meet at the local Starbucks, etc.
This brings us to our last, yet surprisingly needed mentionable. Drunk texting.
You hear about it on social networks, you see conversations posted, heck you probably have even heard about it in the news.
To make a long story and lesson short, learn and know your limits with drinking – and most importantly when it’s most ideal to turn your phone down if you plan on going ‘all in’ that night. It’s easy to mess up a really nice connection or one that you’ve been building up over the past few days over a foolish one night binging session with the boys out on the town.
Think smart, be slow to speak, and don’t talk so much. Let the woman talk, and learn how to be both engaging yet funny, and creative. Women love humor.