Whether it’s at the bar, or in your everyday Starbucks Café, when you see her, you know it. She will be the most elegant, bright, confident, and well-dressed confident woman in the room. The question that so many men will ask naturally is; how can I approach her and possibly make her mine?
Believe it or not, there are a thousand or more different ways to approach a woman. Unfortunately, a lot of the “jocks”, studs, or plainly put those with more confidence than you have already hit her with the most common ‘pick-up’ lines. This seemingly leaves little room for you to improvise, capture her attention, or to get her number.
Get Out of Your Head
A big reason, especially in high-noise places like clubs, men find it seemingly so difficult to interact with the hottest woman in the room is because they not only lack confidence, but also any faith that they could actually have a chance with that woman. In many instances, men are already disqualifying themselves from being eligible to be with or even talk to that woman before even approaching her.
An effective and logical approach or stance is to appreciate that often, presumptions are wrong. So, although you may think thousands of men approach her on a weekly basis, this might just not be the case. Anyway, even if it is reality, it’s more than possible that she doesn’t like those kinds of men, “phonies”, and the generic pickup lines. This, on the other hand, opens up the reality and door for you to swoop in and give it your best shot while having a genuine chance at succeeding.
Women Don’t Like Overbearing Men
The majority of “normal” women don’t like overbearing men, understandably. Because of this, approaching a woman from behind as opposed to the side, or demanding and even requesting her phone number could come off as to too strong. Consider some of the following alternatives and TIPS for more consistent success!
- Consider the value of non-verbal cues, such as a smile, raising your glass, or even a friendly nudge (given the right circumstances, such as in a club for instance) and try these “tactics” to more passively engage a girl of your interest.
- After initiating a conversation with the hottest woman in the room, work your way towards a point in requesting her email address, not her number or Facebook. This undoubtedly is “less personal” and gives her a sense of freedom, flexibility, and space—all which most women desire in any aspect of life.
- Find something that you both have in common, and try to propose an invite or “date” based around doing that activity together in the near future—that is, if you believe you’re both feeling each other and have some chemistry.
- When you first talk to a woman and following the initial contact, do your best to maintain an authoritative tone. Women also love and strongly value eye contact, as it demonstrates sincerity to them. No, this doesn’t mean play drill instructor or try to boss her around. It just means be confident not only in yourself, but in what you’re saying. If you don’t believe what you’re saying, or that you even have a chance, then why should she?
- Keep conversations for the first time short, it protects you from slipping up—which we’re all bound to do at some point or another. This will also show that you have your own life and are not just prowling about for prospective hotties to sleep with.
- Bring a “Wing woman” or Surround Yourself with New and Hot Women
This advice especially applies to the club. The more people you speak to, both men and women, the greater your chances are at connecting to new—hot women and people.
If you take the time to speak to various women, casually, just playing around and making them smile, before you know it the hottest woman in the room will likely have her eyes on you. By nature, women want what they can’t have. What this means is that the women in the room, barring you’re presentable, personable, and have some level of confidence, will begin bidding and fighting (indirectly) to win you over. See? You don’t always have to be the “hunter”.
If you brought an attractive (friend) with you to the bar or club, this just increases your sex appeal all the more. Women think that if you have one beautiful woman on your arms or hanging around you, that you must be worthwhile, confident, and likely have a likeable personality which makes you all the more attractive.
Why Exclusivity?
Remaining “exclusive”, not sleeping with every girl you meet, and setting standards for yourself will increase your sex appeal and make your personality all the more attractive. That is, when you’re constantly sleeping with just about any woman you come across, you give off the impression that you’re not only interested in just sex, but that you also don’t have standards and are perhaps “not worthy” of being with them.
Also, it’s worth keeping in mind that women talk to each other, A LOT. In fact, in many instances many women are connected or friends somehow or another and you could easily be attempting to hook up with or talk to another girls friend that you had already met earlier—so be aware, respectful, and genuine. Again, don’t be overbearing, because news spreads fast—especially when interacting with women that frequent the same clubs or bars (together).
Don’t be afraid to collect lots of emails and phone numbers throughout the night. In fact, requesting an email address is a good “opener” to try to slide in a request for a phone number or Facebook, and in many instances the woman will automatically include them by habit or out of genuine interest in you anyway.
How to Make Her Feel Special
When you decide to approach the hottest woman in the room, make sure you pay especially close attention to the things she’s saying and how. Don’t forget her name, and when possible (not excessively) use her name when speaking with her as it adds a personal touch and reassures her that she more or less has your undivided attention.
Women love good listeners, but they also like a man with a brain of his own, therefore feel free to interject and express common hobbies or appeal of similar interests, work, and studies. Don’t be boring, and don’t assume that a woman—especially the hottest one in the room—is, for example, going to find your real estate business as fascinating as you do. While women are curious and love to meet new people, it doesn’t mean that they want your full academic and career background the first time meeting you at a bar.
Everyone is on a different level, enjoys different things, and goes to clubs and other social gatherings for different reasons.
Little hints like a nudge from hip to hip, or a brush of the hand help to reinforce the fact that you’re interested in being more than just friends. Unfortunately being too submissive, shy, or quiet, overall can easily get you “friend-zoned” or even turn the girl off to the point that she doesn’t want to talk or hangout with you anymore.
Why it’s Important to Be Yourself
Lastly, and it’s commonly overlooked, gentlemen, don’t set yourself up for failure. Don’t ask questions like do you have a boyfriend if she’s openly flirting with you and showing a genuine interest in you with other cues. Try not to be invasive, in general, with your questions. In other words, don’t ask her questions or make remarks that you yourself wouldn’t like, enjoy, or appreciate.
After attempting to talk to the hottest girl in the room, at the bar or local café, and all other encounters, regardless of their level on the hotness scale, should begin seeming much easier and practical in the future now that you’ve gotten this out of the way! Even if you don’t win her over or get her phone number, it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. In fact, you should look at it as quite the contrary—come on, the cup is half full!
Above all else, it’s trial and error just like anything else in life boys. Just remain persistent, sociable, and make it a point to interact with other people in the room as well, such as bartenders and bouncers. Doing so makes your more socially appealing and approachable. Be an open-minded guy, and at all costs never be that ‘wallflower’, or the guy playing on his phone or even worse, the guy just gawking at all the women—or in this case, the hottest woman in the room, because yes, it’s likely she’s had this happen many times before, and no, unfortunately for you, she likely doesn’t appreciate or enjoy it.
