Texting a girl that you like is probably one of the scariest things in the world for a guy. If you are interested in someone, the fear of rejection can often hold you back from pursuing her.
That is normal and natural, of course. However, the possibility of something special should outweigh your fear of getting disappointed. What follows are a few simple tips for texting a girl that you like.
1. Get to Know Her
The first step to talking to any girl (in any fashion) is getting to know her. If you know her through friends, ask them about her and see if she is single, etc. If she sits near you in school, ask for help with schoolwork.
If you two work together, try and take lunch at the same time as she does. Just go out of your way to find ways to talk to her. However, be careful not to be pushy or come off like a “stalker.” There is a fine line between charming her pants off and causing her to call 911.
2. Get Her Number
Once you have built a rapport and feel like she is comfortable around you, you can ask for her number. You can be upfront and say that you want to text her because you are interested in her. She will likely admire your honesty and courage.
However, on the other hand, she may be shy herself. You need to gauge her feelings toward you and her personality. If you don’t feel like you want to be totally honest, here are some simple excuses for why you want her digits:
- You want to text her about something going on work
- You want to text her about homework
- You want to put together a party for a mutual friend
The point is to initiate a conversation about SOMETHING so that you can open the doors for a deeper or more personal exchange later.
3. Work Up Your Nerve
So, you have her number but now comes the scary part. Texting an attractive girl for the first time can be unnerving and scary. It takes guts to pursue a girl that you are interested in and it is not for the faint of heart. Men have been dealing with this terrifying first step for millennia… just not always via text.
You may feel a sense of panic every time that you go to text her something but remember that she gave you her number and if she thought you were a total scumbag, she wouldn’t ever have wanted you to have it. Even if she doesn’t like you back quite yet, she obviously doesn’t hate you either. Look at that as a GOOD thing!
4. Make Her Laugh
There is nothing sexier to a woman than a guy who can make her laugh. Girls will swoon for a man who is funny. However, it is important to make sure that your jokes are clean and that you aren’t in danger of offending her. Never make jokes about:
- World issues
Once you two become closer, you can try out some of your more risqué humor but, for now, stick with the “safe” stuff. If she doesn’t know you, she may not know how to take what you think is just all in good fun.
5. Be Yourself
There is no worse mistake that you can make when getting to know a girl than to pretend to be someone else. There are 3 BIG reasons not to:
- It’s often obvious when people are being inauthentic.
- It indicates that you have low self-confidence.
- If you two end up dating, you will eventually emerge as yourself. She will likely be angry or disappointed at having been fooled.
- Laugh at her Jokes.
It’s great if you can make her laugh but it is also important to know when to let her have center stage. She may want to be silly or tell a joke and a man who can laugh at a woman (in a nice way, of course) will let her know that she can be herself. Any woman loves a man who will let her be authentic, real and comfortable in her own skin.
6. Be Understanding
Texting is fun but it can also get disrupted easily. She may get up from her desk or leave her phone in her car and miss some texts. Do not get insecure, jealous or annoyed if she steps away for a bit. Be understanding and do NOT act like a jealous or possessive person. That’s a red flag and she will run, no sprint, away from you.
7. Never Text Anything Dirty
Of course, dirty texts are fine between couples. They are usually fun and harmless and add a special fire to a romance. However, if you are just starting to text her, keep it clean. Don’t ever talk about feeling sexual toward her. Also, never send her any inappropriate photos or ask for them from her. Whatsoever.
8. Text her When You are Thinking About Her
Girls really like to be thought of throughout the day and feel special and memorable. If you think of her, even if it is just because of a song you heard or a flower you saw, text her. Say, “I just saw a big garden of tulips and I thought of you because I know that they are your favorite.” You will come off as sweet and caring.
However, be careful not to step over any lines and start talking about things that may make her uncomfortable. For example, if you smell a perfume that reminds you of her, you might want to keep that to yourself for a while.
While she could have easily mentioned her favorite song or flower and think you’re sweet, she might be alarmed that you know how she smells. Please always remember that texting is a great way to communicate quickly but it can also be hard to read people via text.
She may miss an expression or a tone of voice that would have mattered to the meaning of the text. Try not to say things that will leave her guessing too much.
9. Let Her Text You as Well
If you got her number, then you should definitely text her first. However, once the exchange of texts has begun, allow her to have a chance to initiate conversations. This will be a good gauge of how she feels about you and you won’t risk smothering her or scaring her off.
If she doesn’t ever text you before you text her, then you should probably take that as a sign that she doesn’t feel the same way that you do. If she does text you to initiate things, then there’s a good chance that she is into you or at least thinks you are nice to talk with.
All in all, you should pat yourself back if you ask for her number and text her. Even if nothing happens, or if she ends up not reciprocating your feelings, you will have done something brave and mature.
The point in getting to know girls and dating is to become more comfortable in relationships. Every girl that you like is not going to like you back but you’ll never know until you try, will you? Good luck and have guts!