Do you want to find out the best ways to ditch your overt attachment to a certain outcome, and lose the sense of desperation and neediness that’s keeping you caught in Rejection Hell?
Would you like to find ways to upgrade your attitude and method to dating and tourist attraction so that you BECOME the strong, manly guy who NATURALLY draws in ladies and keeps their interest … all without a HINT of groveling, supplication, or ass-kissing.
Then read on …
The means I see it, the greatest thing that’s keeping most men back from experiencing real, continuous success with ladies is WORRY.
It’s the worry of REJECTION. And no matter how much you ‘know’, on an aware level, that you’re a terrific man who ladies ‘must’ be brought in to, that rational, RATIONAL part of your mind doesn’t even make a DENT in your emotional, gut-level feedback to situations involving ‘instinctive responses’ like WORRY.
All the rationality in the world doesn’t influence that deep-down part of your brain … the component where FEELINGS hold sway.
Mentally, you do not wish to need to experience rejection: the worry of ‘not sufficing’ the fear that you’ll wind up at a loss for words, or that you won’t understand what to say, or that you won’t have the ability to make her laugh, or that you won’t have the ability to make her WANT YOU.
But do not stress. This is TOTALLY NORMAL. Most of the dating suggestions out there focuses to a big degree around ‘talking yourself out of it’, and going out there and concentrating on things like speaking with great deals of ladies, being sociable, and enhancing your social skills in order to fight a worry of rejection.
And this is all vital stuff that I’m significantly 100 % behind. It holds true, success with women DOES depend greatly on a strong set of social abilities … and it holds true that the only method to ENHANCE those skills is to obtain off the sofa, get out there, and talk with people. BUT, that assistance alone isn’t offering you the complete tale. There’s something MISSING.
There are lots of men who know what they ‘could’ be doing … however somehow that’s still not nearly enough to actually cross the divide between ‘understanding’ and ‘doing’.
And what’s getting in the way? WORRY. Feelings. Impulses. All the gut-level reactions that need more than LOGIC to neutralize.
If you don’t have a solid ‘game method’ about rejection and how to ‘deal’ with it, you’re always visiting be stabilized on the knife-edge in between positive self-image and rock-bottom full absence of self-confidence.
You’re NEVER EVER going to be in control of how you feel about yourself … and you’re ALWAYS visiting be turning over your power to EXTERNAL situations that you have no control over.
Do not get me wrong here, men. This is a BIG DEAL. For a lot of men, all it takes is one little ‘failure’ with a lady to rush up all the good work and progress they have actually made up until now.
And if you have actually experienced ‘rejection’ on a REGULAR BASIS, without a lot of ‘successes’ to neutralize it, you’ll be feeling SERIOUSLY rushed up.
Can anyone state … EMASCULATED?
It’s taken me a long time to figure this out for myself … however ‘logic’ merely doesn’t cut the mustard when rip-roaring emotions and impulses are concerned.
If you want to handle rejection and change it from a barrier to your success to NOTHINGNESS, then you’ve got to ‘fight fire with fire’ and count on gut-level UNDERSTANDING to combat gut-level EMOTION.
This is where MINDSET comes in. There’s nothing ‘sensible’ about mindset. It’s not everything about ‘rationality’ and ‘words’. It has to do with who you decide to BE.
Consider this for a fact: many guys think their mindset is something that ‘just occurs’ which they have very little control over.
Consequently, they set themselves approximately LOSE when it concerns dating and women.
If you’ve ever before felt that the cards have actually been stacked against you, or that you’re somehow lacking the ‘benefits’ that other guys have, or that on some level you’re ‘inadequate’ to be effective with women.
I KNOW you understand exactly what I’m talking about here.
And this is why many men wind up literally entraining themselves for failure.
Below’s what generally occurs. Lots of guys are COMPLETELY at the mercy of scenario when it comes to females – and this is a situation that they create for themselves.
Because they think that, if an excellent female is attracted to them … a lady who’s ‘above’ what they ‘d ‘generally’ be able to get …
they take it that this is somehow a ‘fluke’, or that they’ve ‘lucked in’, or that she’s ‘one of a kind’ and they ‘d much better take advantage of this incredible opportunity and ‘seal the deal’ before she gets a clearer concept of exactly what kind of guy she’s handling below (i.e. someone from her organization.)
This is exactly what’s called a self-fulfilling prediction.
Here’s the sequence of occasions:
– The man can barely think his luck. He figures he has to have ‘lucked in’ to this one. He starts attempting to ‘wall her in’ prior to she can make a quick vacation.
– This habits inevitably strikes her as odd and unattractive. She begins to pick up on the suppressed needy/desperate vibes coming her method and figures that this isn’t really congruent with her initial impression of a man with confidence, masculinity, and OPTIONS … that, in fact, he’s acting like a desperate, fear-driven man who’s trying to ‘tie her down’ prior to she ‘escapes’.
– She is driven away by the neediness and desperation inherent in his habits, which triggers a ‘call and feedback’ situation wherein her increasing distance and aloofness sources more neediness and desperation … hence hammering the last nail into the CASKET OF REJECTION.
– She walks. He is left with a belief that his impulses were right all along: he’s not capable of sustaining tourist attraction with a lady of that quality – which obviously REINFORCES that kind of self-fulfilling-belief-based habits the next time he suddenly attracts a hottie.
In other words: this man’s MINDSET is things that let him down. He saw himself in a specific means … and that belief was so strong that it at some point permeated the way SHE saw him, too.
Think what could have taken place if he ‘d acted upon beliefs that SUPPORTED his strength and attraction instead of undermining them.
This is a home truth that not a great deal of men are aware of. They think that, if you can ‘fake it ’til you make it’, or simply ACT in a certain method to ‘get the lady’, then she’ll be ‘fooled’ and everybody will go home pleased.
But that’s nothing but a pipe dream. Sure, a certain ‘type’ of woman might be tricked by a couple of routines, openers, and one-liners … but a truly OUTSTANDING woman will have the ability to ferret out incongruence, and sooner or later, she’ll be REPELLED by it.
There’s just no navigating it. You attract exactly what you believe. And this is something you cannot ‘fake’. So right here’s a suggested mindset for you to try on for size, rather.
If your mindset was among ‘it’s not such a big deal’, and you thought that, because you have actually got what it takes to bring in ONE lady, you have actually got exactly what it takes to bring in MORE then you wouldn’t do what a lot of men end up doing, which is that she will UNAVOIDABLY ‘find out’ about the ‘real you’ and be switched off. (Which naturally, is typically EXACTLY what ends up occurring.)
The attitude is exactly what CREATES the TRUTH.
Pointer: instead of concentrating on WORRY, consider the notion of ABUNDANCE.
In a very genuine means, there are A LOT of women out there. And a few of these ladies are going to find you appealing.
Count on it. So how about this … instead of thinking that you’ve ‘fluked it’ when you feel a stimulate with an excellent lady, how about looking at it in a manner that actually supports your lifestyle as a top-notch ‘blue-ribbon prospect’ MAN.
If you can draw in a wonderful woman, it’s not a ‘fluke’. It’s EVIDENCE that YOU HAVE ACTUALLY ENHANCED to the level where such ladies are GENUINELY ATTRACTED to you. No ‘luck’ and no ‘coincidence’ involved.
A natural by-product of this belief is GENUINE LEISURE and a capacity to just ‘chill’ and understand that, whatever takes place, it’s really NOT such a big deal.
If she walks, well, these things happen. It doesn’t have to be ‘proof’ of your ‘failure’. It’s just WHAT TAKES PLACE SOMETIMES … and there’s NO regulating it.
Trying to manage these sorts of social circumstances.
amounts playing ‘God’. Do you TRULY wish to develop that sort of complex at this point in your.
Didn’t think so. So instead of PANICKING and attempting to CONTROL WHAT HAPPENS, simply … LET GO. Stop fretting. Stop BITCHING. And let the chips fall where they may.
And by the way – if you can bring in ONE, you can bring in EVEN MORE. THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES. This is the attitude that will regularly get you females.
You merely have to DETACH from any kind of obsessive, fear-based have to ‘make something occur’. That need will literally AVOID you from attaining exactly what it is that you want.
Instead, why not take a few of the pressure off yourself – and get even more success at the same time?
If you know there are going to be other chances, which you have actually got various other CHOICES (even if you don’t know what they are simply yet), you’re not going to feel compelled to tension and stress with THIS specific circumstance.
This lack of pressure then releases you approximately simply RELAX, unwind, and let things take their own natural course which, obviously, leaves YOU feeling method more relaxed, and able to act SUITABLY to the circumstance.
So does this mean, then, that a few butterflies aren’t typical? Nope. Stress is normal. This isn’t really about ‘not caring’ or being apathetic … it’s simply that the pressure of ‘get it right, or be embarrassed’ is now REMOVED.
The stakes aren’t so high, so YOU can take even more of a back seat, feel more cooled, and just relax into the present minute … which naturally is going to assist you come across as even more confident and more INHERENTLY MASCULINE and ATTRACTIVE to a quality lady … with ABSOLUTELY NO neediness or desperation.
You will in fact BE an attractive guy. The reverse of desperation is ATTRACTION. But what if you truly ARE ‘desperate’? What if you ‘d do ANYTHING to ‘have a woman’ and you just can’t see any ‘options’ ANYWHERE? Simple. Act as though have females crawling out of the woodwork.
REQUIRE YOURSELF to unwind. And that mindset, that embodiment of self-confidence and relaxation, is actually visiting be what PRODUCES those options for you. But you’ve got to take that leap of faith first before you’ll see any outcomes.
And appearance. I know this is a lot to absorb all at once. Truth be informed, for many men, it involves an ESSENTIAL SHIFT in the way that they look at the entire concept of dating and destination.
And, it requires a certain amount of ‘faith’ that, in an expression, deep space has actually got your back which you are an inherently exceptional guy who females will find appealing.
So don’t stress too much about internalizing all this at one time. Simply keep this concept of ‘abundance’ in the back of your mind, and whenever you feel yourself starting to experience that desperate feeling, or stressing that ‘there’s not visiting be an additional one’, REQUIRE yourself to relax.
Take a deep breath, and expel it slowly and forcefully through pursed lips. (In horse-training circles, this is known as ‘letting out the butterflies’.)
Then, psychologically get the idea of ‘abundance mentality’ from the back of your mind. Look at it.
Know that this concept has been around for longer than you can think of. Know that your beliefs form your truth.
Know that the SECOND that you draw in the attention of a female, that can be taken as incontrovertible evidence that you are now efficient in drawing in that ‘level’ of quality on a basic level … proof that you’ve got what it takes to get more of the exact same.
And as time goes on, your abilities will improve … and so will the quality of the women you bring in, up until you’re getting ‘blue-ribbon’ quality– the kind of women that YOU, personally, discover the most attractive of ALL.
Remember: This has to do with ‘manning up’. Females dig MEN. And a guy, by definition, is someone who ‘feels the concern and does it anyhow’ … and preferably, without SHOWING her that he hesitates. No mewling, puling, or wincing permitted.