Texting a girl that you like is probably both exciting and terrifying because I the fear of rejection is so real and so powerful. However, if you let fear hold you back from pursuing a girl, you will be left wondering “what if?” for years.
Let the excitement of the prospect of something special outweigh your fear of getting disappointed and dive in. If you have decided to text her, then you are on the right track. Here are a few suggestions of what to say when you are texting a lady you like:
Intros. to Conversations:
This is the hardest part. Breaking the ice is a lot of pressure and can be difficult and scary. But just be yourself, keep it casual and let her know that she matters to you because you have been thinking about her. There is nothing more exciting to a girl than to meet a guy who thinks of her often when they are apart.
It’s a romantic gesture without being overt and she is sure to respond well. If she doesn’t feel the same way about you, she will still be flattered. Strive to make her smile or giggle with your intro. So that you are starting off on the right foot.
- If she isn’t where you normally see her: “Missed you at ___________ today. Hope everything is OK.
- To let her know that you are thinking of her: “Have you seen _________? It was a great movie and made me think of you. You should check it out if you haven’t yet.”
- Another way to let her know she crosses your mind: Send a funny (tasteful) meme or article and say, “Couldn’t resist sending this. It is so funny.”
To Keep the Conversation Going:
If you come to lulls or run out of things to say, try to emphasize how similar that the two of you are. Talk about what you have in common, what you think is great about her and what you want to learn. Ask “surface” questions and don’t delve too deep but try and address the things that matter most to her… like her family, hobbies, home and so on.
- To emphasize commonalities: “Oh really? You like to play _______________ (soccer, golf, etc.). That’s great. I do too.” Emphasize commonalities and similarities.
- To engage in talking about HER and to set up a chance for a date: “I heard that you make a great __________ (martini, spaghetti, etc.). I want to try it sometime!”
- To show her that you are interesting, smart and have something to offer: “I am sooo interested in ___________ (just about anything). Have you ever tried it/read it/eaten it/played it/etc.”
- To show an interest in her family: “How many siblings do you have?” OR “What do your parents do?”
- If she is a transplant from somewhere else, you can show interest in her by asking something like this: “What made you move here?”
To End the Conversation:
Always end the conversation on a positive note. If you do not get the sense that she likes you then be a gentleman and simply say that you enjoyed talking with her.
You don’t want to be the guy who turns into a jerk when he realizes the girl doesn’t feel the way that he does. That’s lame and she will probably tell her friends. You don’t want a bad rep with the girls in your circle. In addition, include a “call to action” or set up a time to talk again.
- A generic ending: “Well it was really great chatting. I had no idea we had so much in common. We should talk again soon.”
- If you are feeling brave: “Well, it was great texting, would you want to meet for lunch next week?”
- If you are feeling unsure whether she likes you too: “Well, this was fun. If you ever want to chat again or hang out then just shoot me a text!”
- If you are certain that she likes you too: “I am so glad that we got to chat today. I have wanted to for a while. You are a really special girl. I want to hang out soon.”
Topics to Avoid:
- Religion, faith, family values, etc. People feel very strongly about these topics and you may end up offending her or opening up a can of worms that you aren’t looking for.
- Political issues, controversial topics. Again, people get very worked up about these sorts of things.
- Mutual friends, gossip or meaningless and unkind chatter. This is tasteless and immature. If she starts to gossip, attempt to steer the conversation in another direction.
- Personal issues demons or problems OR exes: If you begin dating, you should certainly share these types of things but now is not the time.
- Don’t be a whiner or a complainer. Don’t talk about things that will make you feel annoyed or unhappy. Try to keep it light and fun.